“I’m 15 years old and!!”
“I’m 17 and I’m the youngest one here”
I’ve done it and I’ve seen countless people do it. When I was young teenager, I was proud of my age. I wielded it whenever I could “look at me, I’m so young and so interested in so many things!” Look at all the potential I have — potential potential potential.
I liked putting it on my LinkedIn bio, my cv, my instagram bio, twitter bio, and any cold email I sent asking for an opportunity, advice, mentorship, or connection. In every online event or workshop I attended, my age was brandished, “hi I’m Mia, 15/16/17 and interested in whatever you guys are interested in! Look at how that makes me immediately more interesting than lots of the other people here!” “But also, I’m humble — can’t you tell by the inflection of insecurity in my voice?”. Now you must like me.
Indeed, I fell back on using my age as a societal coping mechanism, I felt that it gave me leeway to express my thoughts or opinions without judgement. I took pride in my age and the fact that I was motivated. From an ego perspective, I fed off the multitude of compliments that never failed to end up my way.
Now I’m 18. When I turned 18 last April 1, I fell into a sort of depression for about a week. The feeling of “oh fuck, Im an adult now” came crashing down on me. What have I accomplished? Truly? Finally stepping out of my own bloated head and taking a look around, I saw self-made millionaires, influencers, musical prodigies, and people who were better than me in every aspect of my life. Suddenly I didn’t feel special at all, and everything felt much more…real. The enormity of my relative mediocrity started crashing down on me. It was suffocating and pressed against my chest–– the mantra of ‘you probably need to be doing more’ echoed repeatedly in my head. “You could probably be like them if you tried harder.” “Why aren’t you like them yet?”
But in the past few months, I have changed my mind. I have stopped using my age as a social tool to validate myself. I have stopped taking pride in it, because it is not something I should be taking pride in.
My age is not a social tool. It is not an ego boost. It is not a reason for people to be nice to me. It is not a reason for people to listen to me. It is not a reason for people to give me opportunities.
I am not special because I am young.
I am not more interesting because I am young.
I am not more capable because I am young.
I am not more motivated because I am young.
I am not more humble because I am young.
I am not more hardworking because I am young.
I am not more enthusiastic because I am young.
I am not more creative because I am young.
I am not more open-minded because I am young.
I am not more ambitious because I am young.
There are people of all ages who are all of those things, and more. And those are the people that I want to be around. Those are the people that I want to learn from. Those are the people that I want to work with.
So from now on, I am no longer going to use my age as a social tool. I am no longer going to take pride in it. I am going to focus on the things that actually make me special, the things that actually make me more interesting, the things that actually make me more capable, the things that actually make me more motivated, the things that actually make me more humble, the things that actually make me more hardworking, the things that actually make me more enthusiastic, the things that actually make me more creative, the things that actually make me more open-minded, and the things that actually make me more ambitious.
And those things have nothing to do with my age.
I’ve spent a lot of my life relying on age. I skipped two years of school by accelerating so I was always the youngest one in the batch and even felt a sense of misplaced pride whenever someone commented on that fact or acknowledged that I. indeed, was smart. Now that I’m 18, the realization that I am not at all special, though it hurt me at first, was an important one. Age is nothing. What’s one to two years of your life? The real question is: are you living life according to the standards of your truth? Are you meeting them? We mustn’t compare ourselves to others. No one is greater than any other person. Everyone is on their own timeline, living life along their pace. Only the present exists. Am I happy where I am right now? I’d say yes. My room is clean, my hair smells good, Im healthy and I have all the time in the world to focus and work on whatever I’m interested in. I’m writing right now and time stands still, I am quite happy when I am writing. Sure there’s more to do, but there’s always more to do. I came to the conclusion only yesterday that I do genuinely enjoy my life. My 13 year old self would be proud.
Now when I see younger people with their age in their bios, being the youngest during seminars or odd workshops and talks, I chuckle to myself and even feel a sense of misplaced pride on their behalf. Go on and weaponize your age, you should be proud for being motivated. I love you. Don’t feel embarrassed, put yourself out there, it’s ok. Progress is happiness. Come at me with jokes that I sound that I just came from Mount Sinai, I don’t care–– at 18, I’m trying to progress. At everything I do. And I believe that that’s the road to true happiness. So go and try to make progress. Make a plan for it and try to do it. Gain momentum. Take it from me, I’m 18, I know everything.